I found love and lost it all in an alley.

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We locked eyes through the grocery store window. It was one of those gazes where it seemed that all time was halted for that one second. I know its cliche to say this, but my heart really did pause for that split second within our hour-glass. She was absolutely breath taking. A mere four foot-fiveish, a shimmering blue sequined tube top just pulled up enough to see her belly fat, a lime green spandex miniskirt,bruises on her thighs, messy blond hair, and red lipstick that was slightly smeared on her right cheek. Beautiful.

We slowly approached each other and placed our hands upon the glass. As I placed my right palm against the glass it was like I can sense her thoughts through the warmth of her hands. Somehow we could read each other's thoughts, and we both knew what we wanted. She closed hear eyes and I closed mine. Our lips slowly encroached the glass, kissing it, both of us showing off; no, both of us tempting each other.

You know it was like when I was a kid, and I loved the show Rosanne. I have always fantasized for Rosanne's touch, the weight of her body crushing me like an elephant sitting on a box of Captain Crunch. For that moment in time I completely forgot that I was in a grocery store. Once we finished, we pulled away from the glass and our saliva hung like a mouthful of spaghetti -that made me attracted to her even more. After realizing the aftermath of the nuclear holocaust of saliva against the window pane thats when we knew. We both jolted to the exit as fast as our stubby legs could take us. Every time an incident like this happens to me the same cycle happens: I fall in love at first sight, I go in "head over my heels", and then it falls apart. So I wanted to take it slow, slow is good right? Well, we took it slow.

I took her out to Chi-Chi's right after our "moment." There she ordered margaritas a plenty and I had a sex on the beach. I have always laughed at the name of that drink sex-on-the-beach, I mean why don't they just call it "Sex on the beach and then have the Sahara desert in your underwear." That would make a lot more sense.

Before our entrees came we did nothing more than just gaze upon each other. Man, that blue eye shadow was so tantalizing, I just wanted to go water skiing on her eye lids. We haven't said a word to each other at all. I asked her, "So....what is your name?" With a voice that sounded so raspy, with a side dish of coarseness, a hint of deepness, and a sprinkle of a western accent, she replied with, "Mary Ann the Third." It was the voice of a beautiful angelic sloth! I was blown away. Then I thought to myself, "Wow, there were actually two others just as stunning as her."

Finally our entrees came. Mary Ann ordered the Garbungo Massivo Burrito and I ordered the Pequno Chico Changos. I have never seen a woman eat a burrito so gracefully. Her teeth ripping through hunks of beef and chicken. As guacamole squirted all over her nostrils and a little on her shoulder. I couldn't help but hear growling sounds as she feasted. I grabbed a napkin and proceeded to wipe that guacamole off of her nose, and then she snapped at me! She really tried to bite off my fucking finger! This attracted me even more to her. I sat there with my eyes wide open; I was completely enthralled. It was intense. It was the National Geographic special of how lions feed upon their prey. Thats when I knew I had to have her.

I am on a diet and I have been working out. Although, I ate the meat of my food I also sucked the juices from my tortillas. After a quick twenty minutes we were full. Our bellies filled with spicy and greasy meat, we moved sluggishly within our seats, and our eyes were barely open. We were both somewhere between Chi-Chi's and sleep. Unable to comprehend what has just happened to either one of us. I was experiencing the worst "food hangover" ever, while she was in a "food coma". I paid the bill of course. Then I waved for the manager. My date was unconscious, the manager and I, and several bus boys had to carry her out of the restaurant, and into my teenie weenie car. The car tilted to one side only because she was so gorgeous like a beached whale parked nicely in my front seat. I was happy and right when I started the car then she suddenly sprung to life, wailing her arms and screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Wha, where am I?"

"You don't remember?"


"We were just inside Chi-Chi's and you practically laid that burrito in huge line across the table and snorted it up your nose. Then you were completely euphoric on burrito dopamine that you O.D.ed and slipped into a coma!"


Poor girl didn't even had a clue. Now this is what you call "love". She opted to repay the favor and I did want to take it slow so I hastily replied with, "YES!" So we drove to a darkened alley. That raspy voice was back with a

"Kill the lights."


"Now tell me what I want to hear."

"Ummmm...You look really pretty especially with encrusted guacamole on your face."

"No not that, do you have twenty bucks?"

"No, I spent all my money at the restaurant." That was the last comment I will ever give to her. She suddenly opens the door and starts to walking into the darkness. I got of my car as fast as I could and called out to her, "Come back! Please, come back!" No answer. Off into the night and into the shadows. And there I was, alone shrouded in the pitch black alleyway of my empty soul. I got back in my car and attempted to put myself back together again. Trying to replay and examine everything that I did wrong. I started the car, wiped my tears, and I went home. I'll will never forget that night as well as Mary Ann the Third. Dressed in a blue sequin tube top, a lime green miniskirt just inched low enough to see her belly fat, red crocs, messy blond hair, blue eye shadow, and that red lipstick smeared a little across her right cheek. Beautiful.
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