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Turned Away

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Turned Away

I woke up. I looked out the window at the thermometer in my backyard. It was 110 degrees F, so I bundled up and walked outside. On the way to the car, I dropped my keys three times…on purpose. I got in the car, rolled up the windows and turned on the heat full-blast. I slowly began to speak out loud. I told myself a lie. It was Sunday morning and I knew that the Bible was being fully sessioned down at church, so I drove there.

I walked inside, where the air was ice cold. I undressed completely and sat in the front row. The shocked congregation asked me to leave. Still nude and empty-handed, I complied and began to exit. Before I could make it outside, however, the collection plate was passed my way.

I went next door to the butcher and complained of paper cuts. He asked for proof, so I reached for some ID. All I got was my bare ass. The police wrapped me in a blanket. They drove outside of town to let me go in the wild. I offered them some donuts that I didn't have. They invited me to be the subject of a rib-kicking event. We both declined. They left. I leaned against a stump to the right.

Deeper into the woods, I saw a little one room schoolhouse that had been burned down to the ground a century before. I laughed and coughed up a photo of my ex-girlfriend. I fed it to an alligator. The alligator coughed up the photo and a cat that was, at the same time, coughing up a hairball.

I grabbed the hairball and the cat and walked all the way into town, where I saw my parents on a street corner. They wouldn't speak to me. The fact that my attire consisted solely of a live cat wrapped around my waist probably didn't help. They walked off. The hairball still in one hand, I gently stroked the cat with the other and sang it to sleep because, by that time, I needed quiet clothes.

Finally, I went off in search of you. Close to a sunny, green grove, we met. I extended my hand to give you the hairball, but you turned away.

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(4) responses to: Turned Away

  1. Garry, this story kicks ass. Now one about the Beatles, please.

    FOXXXYZ's Emeritar FOXXXYZ Posted:
  2. this is fucking rad. reminds me of Colin Fiske's dreams

    twazzer's Emeritar twazzer Posted:
  3. hahahahahahahahaha
    that was funny as hell
    you are clever

    Nate's Emeritar Nate Posted:
  4. i liked that a lot. very interesting and it felt twisted here and there. good stuff

    mikeskatesnj's Emeritar mikeskatesnj Posted:

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